The cry of my heart was for God to put a new heart in me. God is faithful to answer prayers like that because that is His promise to us. During my time in counseling, I spent so much time with God; with kids in school and no job, I spent my days in Bible Study, prayer, and reading books on Jesus and Christianity. I had very little understanding of what I was actually doing other than looking for answers. Looking back, I now know I was pursuing God.
Enter again Beth Moore. So Long Insecurity was the book I was reading when God gave me a new heart. I was on my knees, on my bedroom floor, bending over the book, and bawling. The truth is that my insecurity is what drove my life, my decisions, and most of the trouble I got myself into. Insecurity caused me to put on the clothes of someone else in order to be accepted by others. God exposed insecurity as the true motive of my heart; the lie and the sin that drove me to the end of my rope. What God had for me in this book was one sentence that I needed to hear so badly in my life. The way Beth phrased it is: “You are clothed with strength and dignity and no one can take that away from you.” Proverbs 31, verse 25 says “she is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” I own that scripture! It is my foundational scripture, and it is available to anyone who wants it – for free! Just walk with it hidden or in your heart, say it (and believe it) when you feel insecure, and it is yours.
The cause of the circumstances in my life was insecurity; it was now exposed so that I could deal with it. The beauty of God is that he doesn’t expose a lie to you without replacing it with truth. Lie: I am insecure. Truth: I am clothed with strength and dignity! I was designed that way! I truly believe that I had an encounter with the Spirit of God that day. My prayers were answered. I was transformed. I got the new heart that I had asked for.
God promises us that he will give us a new heart, both in the Old Testament and the New Testament. With a new heart, we see ourselves and others differently. We view our world with a soft and squishy heart of compassion, which is the heart of Jesus.
My favorite scripture on this topic is from Ezekiel 36: 25- 31
“I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people and I will be your God. I will save you from all your uncleanness.”
When I received this revelation as mine, I felt so free. With these scriptures in my pocket and the Holy Spirit living inside me, I was now prepared to fight my next battle; the battle for my marriage.